Mistakes First-Year Homeschool Moms Make (& How to Avoid Overwhelm)

“This past year was a disaster.”

That’s how Grace described her first year of homeschooling when she joined me in coaching. And honestly? The mistakes first-year homeschool moms make can turn what should be an exciting, freedom-focused journey into exactly that—a disaster. But here’s the good news: understanding these pitfalls means you can avoid them mostly.

Grace is a mom of three—ages 13, 11, and 6. Her older two attend public school, but she decided to homeschool her youngest because she didn’t feel he was ready for kindergarten. But here’s what actually happened:

“I definitely homeschooled out of fear and anxiety. I had a support teacher, but she wasn’t the right fit. Someone told me about self-directed learning, so I was trying to unschool but felt lost. I was overwhelmed with part-time work and volunteering. And I struggled even to help my son remember letters or numbers to 10. I didn’t know what to do when he just couldn’t remember things. I realized my learning style is ‘just tell me what to do’—and since I tried teaching them from my learning style, it didn’t work.”

If you’ve felt even a fraction of what Grace described, pause and just breathe.

Here’s the thing: every first-year homeschool mom makes mistakes. We all make mistakes because we’re human.

But you can circumvent them if you learn alongside someone who has been there done that.

Grace learned that her experience of this past year might have felt like it was a disaster—but she’s brave, self-aware, and doing the hard work of figuring out what her family needs because she’s sitting with me in her Aligned Homeschool Reset Session.

Start here: Grab my free Confident 1st Year Homeschool Roadmap—7 emails that walk you through the foundations: your why, your routine, your curriculum, and how to avoid first-year overwhelm. It’s the framework from Confident Homeschool 101 in quick-start form.

Commonly Discussed Mistakes First-Year Homeschool Moms Make

1. Are You Trying to Do Everything?

Grace experienced this: “I was overwhelmed with part-time work, volunteering, and homeschooling. I had too much on my plate and lacked time to research what I could be doing.”

What to Do Instead: List everything you’re committed to. Circle only what’s truly non-negotiable. Give yourself permission to say “not this year” to activities and volunteering. (You will have an opportunity to revisit these things next year).

2. Why Doesn’t This Curriculum Work for Us?

“I had curriculum for math and language arts, but a lesson that should take 15-30 minutes would get drawn out when my son lost focus or needed a break. Other subjects, I was at a loss.”

What to Do Instead: Choose flexible curriculum where you can “open and go”. Possibly, cut planned lesson times in half, or do enough activity for each kiddo that stretches them but doesn’t push them to frustration. If they’re at the frustration point, they aren’t learning. Assess why they’re frustrated and take a break. Reframe real life learning opportunities—cooking teaches math, nature walks teach science.

Grace’s ideal: “Simple, non-time-intensive curriculum covering the basics, leaving time to reinforce learning through daily living.” She can absolutely do this, she just needs to reframe how this can get accomplished.

3. Shouldn’t This Feel Easier?

Many moms assume homeschooling should feel smooth from day one, especially if they’ve left the school system and see all the unnecessary hoopla that felt unnecessarily complicated. Then reality hits: kids lose interest, lessons fail, motivation dips—even in homeschool.

Turns out, homeschooling isn’t a panacea. Life continues to life.  

Your reality? When you join homeschooling, you join your unique personal growth journey! Who knew?! ps you can read more about that here.

But here’s what I know: every ‘failed’ lesson is actually showing you something about how your child learns. Every frustrating day is teaching you what your family actually needs.

What to Do Instead: Give yourself at least a full year—honestly, most families hit their stride around year three. (I know that sounds like forever, but here’s the thing: you won’t be struggling the whole time. You’ll be learning, adjusting, and getting clearer each month.

By year three, you’ll wonder why you ever stressed.) Right now? Just focus on this month.

Also, take notice of the good moments, the happy memories, the small wins.

Every week at the Confident Homeschool Mom Collective, we celebrate our Small Wins—join us! Consider this your official invite. (It’s entirely free, and it’s where many moms get a taste of my coaching style before joining Confident Homeschool 101.)

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Can We Talk About the Hard Feelings?

Here’s what first-year moms tell me:

“I feel guilty when we skip a day.”

“I vacillate between this is the best thing ever and I’m scared I’m ruining my children’s future.”

Grace said: “I didn’t know what to do when he just couldn’t remember things. That helpless feeling was overwhelming.”

If this resonates, know this: This homeschool thing is differently challenging for each family; however, when you lean into to clarifying those challenges, and working toward 1% solutions (though 1% solutions be small, they be mighty)…you will figure out what you need to figure out.

There is value in doing a deep dive on learning how to learn. (By the way, that is the name of one my favourite books, Learning How to Learn by Barbara Oakley—it’s brilliant.)

You’re not helpless, you just need to tap into empowering resources. 

Reese shared…”I began coaching to help me talk out my “whys” and “hows” of my homeschooling choices. It was so helpful to have the accountability of checking in with Teresa regularly so that I had another adult to talk my ideas through with, who was a third party, removed from my life situation. To be able to connect remotely was huge; just having another neutral person to hear me out and make informed suggestions made such a difference for me. I am now so much more confident in my decisions to homeschool my kids 🙂 Thanks so much for all your help and guidance Teresa!”

Oh, and that shaky feeling? That’s what doing something brave looks like. You’re not supposed to feel like an expert in month three.

Want to see what getting unstuck actually looks like? I recorded this quick video to show you what happens in a free Aligned Homeschool Reset Session—how we untangle what’s not working and create a clear path forward:

Not ready to book a call yet? That’s totally fine. Keep reading—I’m going to show you exactly what mistakes to avoid as you navigate your first year.

There is value in doing a deep dive on learning how to learn. (By the way, that is the name of one of my favourite books, Learning How to Learn by Barbara Oakley—I share all these books inside Confident Homeschool 101 because they genuinely changed how I homeschool.)

I’ve compiled my complete list of must-read homeschool books here, but inside Confident Homeschool 101, I show you exactly how to apply them.

You’re not helpless, homeschool mom, you just need to tap into empowering resources.

Hidden Mistakes First-Year Homeschool Moms Make

1. Did Fear Make This Decision?

Grace was honest: “I definitely homeschooled out of fear and anxiety. That energy shaped everything—from curriculum choices to how I reacted when lessons didn’t go well.”

What to Do Instead: Write down honestly: Why did I choose to homeschool? Separate legitimate concerns from anxiety-driven fears. If fear and anxiety are driving your homeschool, you will either burnout or carry the invisible load of homeschool motherhood with resentment. (Ain’t no one need that!)

Also reframe your “why” in positive terms: “what does this homeschool life enable for our family?” Think on that, and make it your mantra. Here’s a video on clarifying your why.

2. Are You Waiting for Permission?

“I had a support teacher, but she wasn’t the right fit and didn’t provide the support I needed. We tried things she recommended but they were fails.”

What to Do Instead: Seek mentorship that matches your learning style. There are many supportive, clever support teachers out there. And sometimes some mentors just don’t vibe with us. That’s okay. We all aren’t each other’s tribe. Seek resonant mentorship.

Grace realized: “My learning style is ‘just tell me what to do and do it.'” Find support that provides what you actually need.

Oh, and grab anything by John Holt—How Children Fail completely changed how I understood learning. (I went from panicking when my kids forgot something to realizing: oh, this is just how brains work.) Want to read about John Holt and his book, Teach Your Own–I got you covered here.

3. Is “Following Your Child” Leaving You Lost?

“I was trying to unschool but felt lost. I struggled to help my son remember letters or numbers to 10. There lacked enough repetition. I didn’t know how to set things up so he could do some learning on his own.”

What to Do Instead: For your son, consider using the “three times in three ways” rule—practice each concept in three different contexts.

I remember marveling that my kids were just taught a math concept last week and now they couldn’t remember it! How even! I did a great job teaching it—what was the problem?!

(Of course, I hadn’t even considered that I was not math-strong in school myself and it took many tries to genuinely comprehend something.) I personally learned from Steve Demme, Math-U-See creator (when I taught my kids😉—years after I graduated from University).

Humans don’t necessarily learn everything the first time. Unless your brain is wired that way! Once again, I refer to John Holt in his book, How Children Fail.

Also, consider creating learning stations where your kiddos can engage in project-based learning independently. Depending on their age, do this for 15 mins to an hour after lunch. Or you could also learn “how to unschool” here.

4. Why Are You Doing This Alone?

Grace recognized: “I need someone to give me guidance to plan homeschooling, which is why I’m here!”

What to Do Instead: I know there aren’t many people who have graduated from homeschooling who are willing to stick around and support and mentor those who are new to this whole thing, but you found me! Yay.

My goal? To support you to homeschool YOUR way, for your reasons, and to do it confidently, clearly, and calmly. And I know you can do it, because I’ve been walking women through it since 2019 (right before 2020 and yall, there were a few homeschool families that year, hahahah). Want to learn how I approach coaching? You can learn here.

Avoiding the Mistakes First-Year Homeschool Moms Make

Grace’s story touches on nearly all the mistakes first-year homeschool moms make:

✓ Starting from fear instead of confidence
✓ Having support that doesn’t fit
✓ Trying unschooling without structure
✓ Overcommitting and running out of energy
✓ Not knowing what to do when your child can’t remember things
✓ Not knowing how to set up independent learning

Sound familiar?

Here’s what I know: You can spend the next year Googling, second-guessing, and piecing together random advice from Facebook groups…

OR you can join me inside Confident Homeschool 101 where I’ll walk you through exactly what Grace needed (and what you need too):

Inside Confident Homeschool 101, You’ll Get:

✅ The Foundation Framework – Simple, non-time-intensive curriculum that covers the basics (so you can stop frantically researching and start actually homeschooling)

✅ Unschooling with Structure – The conversation-repetition method; how to set up independent learning; what to do when your child can’t remember something (this is the piece Grace was missing)

✅ Planning for Your Learning Style – Step-by-step guidance for “just tell me what to do” clarity AND flexible frameworks if you prefer more freedom

✅ Navigating the Emotional Journey – How to shift from fear-driven to confidence-driven homeschooling (because you can’t pour from an empty, anxious cup)

✅ Weekly Coaching in the Comments – I join you in the course comments every week to help you unpack YOUR specific challenges with YOUR specific kids. You’re not just getting a course—you’re getting me as your guide.

This isn’t a “watch videos and hope for the best” course.

This is a coaching experience where I walk alongside you, answer your questions, and help you build a homeschool that works for YOUR family.

Because here’s the truth: You can become confident in this homeschool thing. If you’re the kind of mom who trusts her instincts, enjoys learning alongside her kids, and seeks support when she needs it, then I AM confident that you will do it—and do it splendidly.

You got this, girlfriend.

Your first year doesn’t have to be a disaster. It can be the beginning of something beautiful—messy some days, sure, but also delightfully beautiful.

Join Confident Homeschool 101 →

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